the bigger picture

Well, things are looking up, at least a little. The pain in my side and shoulder are non-existant, even when tolen ran his head into my rib tonight. The pain around my left collar bone has lightened up a lot. it is still somewhat noticable, like if i lay on it, but just a little. i did start getting some cramps in my legs and stuff, but that was for being unintelligent about my eating and drinking. eating is still down around one decent meal a day, with a little snacking here and there. it's really not going so hot. but after i started cramping, dad got me some more orange juice, so i have been doing good on the drinking part. tomorrow i will see the doctor and tell him to radiate my rib. i hope he just does it without asking too many questions. sometimes i feel like i just have to tell them the right thing so that they will give me the treatment that i know will be best for me. it's somewhat frustrating. i am trying these days to focus on the positive things i have to look forward too, so as not to dwell on the negative possibilities. assuming i believe in the priesthood, and priesthood blessings, there really aren't any long-term negative possibilities, so i'm wasting my time dreaming them up. and, when you think about it, if you go long term enough, and you truly believe the gospel, even if "bad" things happen soon in this life, there will still be no long term negative possibilities. that is the concept of the big picture, i guess. useful to keep in mind.